dont panic

i just took a giant shit on the school bookstore.  They charged me $55.50 the other day for a used bood that is in shitty condition.  Ridiculous.  So tonight i was looking over my reciept and remembered half.com.  Its an amazing cousin of ebay for textbooks.  Tommorow I am returning my textbook and only paying a total of $13 with shipping.  This fucking rocks.  I also bought a book for about $63 with shipping that would have cost $120 in the school bookstore.  The school bookstore sucks and half.com rules!!!!

a figure skater spending so much time on making something so perfect, and it ends up beautiful, but in the end it really goes nowhere -Elliott Smith
I really hate complaining in my journal.  I want it to be full of happy smiley things but life is not always like that, and my journal is an account of my life.

Lastnight i spent a lot of time with Lauren.  We got some coffee and went to the park.  We ended up seeing emmy and q and mike there as well.  From there we went to Howies and met up with Barbara Jean.  It was a good time.  I also did a lot of homework before i went out and have a lot more to do this evening.  School is going to be a lot of work.

Colleen went to portland for the weekend.  Its really good for her.  She needed a trip and is going to be working a lot in the next couple of weeks and it was the only time she would be able to go for awhile.   Weekend being her weekend which is wednesday and thursday.

things have been really weird lately.  everything is turned upside down.  i really do not want to go into details of what is going on, but wanted to write about it generally being hard and different.  The last couple of weeks have not gone as i would have predicted it, and it is really hard.  I want everything to go back to normal, and i am working hard for that to happen.

take your vitamins

she makes plans, she breaks them.

she makes plans, shes incredibly late.

she makes plans, she breaks them.

this is the pattern, and she laughs at it and says thats her trademark. times and plans and appointments are really important to me. we are both so busy that we have to scheduale time to hang out. ridiculous that she makes plans and then laughs when she breaks them. and when she breaks them i am not invited to whatever she is doing. it hurts dans feelings.

edited 2 hours later:

just when you think she doesnt care, she shows that she cares a lot.  forget all that stuff.

a very short text message and listening to a lot of music, my day is looking up.

this weather sucks.  i really love the rain and cold weather but i hate how it just comes on.  thats part of the oregon weather, one day its in the 90’s and the next day its in the 70’s and falls from there.  Summer comes on in the same way, thats just how it goes.  But im a firm believer that seasons really have some play on our emotions.  Today is one of those days.

Last night was one of the greatest nights ever and in the same respect a completly horrible night, maybe one of the worst.  And today i can not get over it.

I have to work soon, about an hour and a half.  That job always takes my mind off of everything, it is so much fun.  I can not wait.

colleen and i went yard saling today.  i think i spelled that wrong.  I got a pair of sweat pants and a shirt.  I really like the shirt.  colleen found it but was nice enough to let me have it.  the pants too.

other than that i did nothing today.  this weekend i didnt do much, except spend money.  i really need to stop doing that.

thats all for right now.

my best friend outside of colleen is rudy. Rudy has brownish red hair. He is lanky with short limbs. He has a long tounge and floppy ears. Rudy is my dog. I usually do not go to work until around 2 or so, so rudy and i hang out all morning long most mornings. We get along really well. When he gets into trouble he comes and sits around my feet at my computer. I also just taught him how to jump up onto my bed. Its kinda high and he is kinda short so i made a step for him.  He loves to play and play fetch, i can even trick him into thinking his foot is a chew toy.

its maybe a little bad that my best friend is not a person, but oh well