dont panic

I act like it doesnt bother me that i only see colleen once a week.  i might say that its nice because it allows me to keep my social life and still have a wonderful relationship. the truth is its killing me something fierce.  I need her so much closer, i need her around more.  Im worried about her.  She works from 6 am till 10 or 11 pm most nights of the week.  Shes getting at the end of the rope as well and its starting to affect our time together.  Shes way stressed out and me telling her could just make her stress lever higher so ive gotta come up with a great way to tell her that i need her more.  She is going on vacation next week, maybe that will make things better.

my mom got a new puppy today.  His name is Rudy, hes a dueschound (however its spelled).  He is 6 weeks old and its his first night away from his mom and siblings.  He is in the cage in the kitchen and hes crying.  I go in there occasionally to console him.  He just wants someone to be around him.  He stops crying if i stick my hand in his cage next to him.  I can hear him from my room crying and its so sad.  But he has to get used to being away from others……i might bring his cage into my room.

Yesterday i was driving home from work and turned off of the highway and on to a less busy road. On the side of the road were a few people standing around a guy laying on the sidewalk. As i got closer I realized that there was more blood there than i had ever seen before. There was a person sitting next to him keeping pressure on his chest. There was a hole or something in the middle of his chest. I paused and asked if they needed me to call anyone but they said it was fine and best if there wasnt a crowd around. The guy looked dead to me, but i couldnt and still cant figure out how that happened. There was no sign of a car wreck or anything. My best guess would be that he was either shot or was hit by a car.

I spent the rest of the day with Colleen looking at apartments. We make too much to get anything cheap, that sucks. We had a great time. There was one apartment we found that we liked but theres a six month lease and thats a scary commitment. The other place we looked at had no lease but was a lot smaller, but has a gym on site. We need to keep looking.

Not much new going on.  Colleens a manager now and is working a lot so i never get to see her.  I saw her for about 10 minutes friday and will get to see her wednesday night.  Im really excited.  If the weather is nice we are gonna go do fun stuff!!!!

Last night i had a weird dream where colleen and i broke up and i went back to melissa.  It was weird and disturbing.

Ive gotta get ready to go to work.  I love my job, but i hate wearing the same thing every single day. 

Last night was a lot of fun. Colleen and Haley, my sister, came over for dinner. We had shrimp scampi and asparagus. It was really good. Then we watched Saved. We all thought it was interesting that we were watching a movie that pokes fun at a christian high school on easter, but none of us is religious so it doesnt matter much anyways. Then Colleen and my mom started talking about politics and education. Im not one to talk in a group of three, i feel left out, and didnt feel like talking politics at the moment either. I sat around listening to them for a little while then went to my room. I was really bored and was just kind of pacing the house. I guess it made Colleen and my mom upset and Colleen got upset at me. We never ever fight and it sucks when we do. There was actually no fighting she just got upset at me for what i did. She becomes distant when shes upset and that sucks. I hope shes not still upset.

Last night was a date that songs are written about. The weather was amazing and Colleen called me right after work to see if i wanted to go do something. I told her that i was hanging out with Tim, but could hang out with her instead. She was gonna go home, shower and get ready and then call me, and by that time Tim and I would be done. Tim and i got done and i called her to see whats up. We didnt end up getting together until just after 6 but this changed our plans for the better.
We decided to go and get some drinks and dinner in Ashland. On the drive out there Colleen got out her new digi camera and started taking funny pictures of us in the car (pictures to be posted later). She made me laugh so hard i could hardly drive. We got to Ashland and had to hit the Hong Kong for a mohito first off. It wasnt the normal guy making the drinks so the mohito was not as good as always but still good. Colleen kept saying how she could make a better mohito.
After that we went down to Tabu to get a drink and ended up having dinner there too. We split an order of fish tacos and nachos. They were both really really good. The drinks there we poured really stiff and by the second we were feeling toasty. We walked around talking and such after dinner and ended up at Alex’s. There we split a beer and then a glass of wine. They had this amazing syrah, wonderful.
On the walk back to the car we were both feeling a little silly and laughing tons. Colleen had me get on her back and she carried me a little ways, then she got on mine and i carried her the rest of the way to the car. The whole time we were just joking about thing and laughing ridiculously through the streets of ashland. But we didnt care.
Then on the way home we decided to stop off at my sisters house to say hi. There we had a good time spent about an hour there, stopped at the store on the way home to get candy and came back home and ate a shitload of candy, watched and episode of the office on itunes and passed out.
Being superwoman and all colleen got up at 430 to go to work. Shes amazing that way.

i need to be cleaning my room. last night right after work i went to see luck number sleven with tim and josh. there were a lot of other movies that i would have liked to spend most of my money on but i got to see that instead. it sucked. the camera work was good but the acting and story line were not. oh well. i actually wanted to see slither, but they didnt.

work is still a lot of fun. i get to sit around and play with new phones all day long. selling them is fun as well, yesterday i opened 6 lines. Im getting good at the whole process. its kinda easy once your figure it all out.

Last night was the first time i havnt slept in the same bed as colleen in about 2 weeks. It was kinda weird. oh well it will be like this for awhile, and we will see less of each other. She just lives so far away that the only time we hang out after work is when she stays here, and that only happens once a week.

Im jumping on the boat with Oregon Trail and J.O. and doing a f.a.q. section so please leave me some questions, funny, serious, diculous or even so diculous its rediculous please leave them.

will this week never end.  i have been staying up way to late and getting up way to early and working way much.  Tommorow is maybe my friday and i cant wait.

The job at cingular is going well.  Im doing good, learning a lot and dealing with things well.  Im the new guy so i do a lot of cleaning and other tasks but hopefully will get over that.

Colleen and I are unfortunatly done playing house.  Her parents got back today.  It has been so much fun over the last week.  We have spent more time together than we have in a long time.  

Other than that there isnt much else to say. 

i want all of the american people to understand, that it is understandable that the american people can not possibly understand

I got a new job. Im working at a retail cingular store. Its alright. I went in monday to drop off my resume. They interviewed me there. Immediatly had a second interview and called me a few hours later to offer me the job. It was quick and a little scary but i went for it and had my first officail day today. I didnt do much else today than shadow people and play with cell phones. My boss just handed me the key to the phone cabinet and said "go ahead and play with all the phones and get used to them". I got to play with all the newest coolest phones and even one came in today that i got to play with that is not availible to the public. Really cool!!! It is going to be a cool job.

The last week Colleen and I have been playing house again. Whenever one of our parents goes out of town we play house for that time. They have been going out of town a lot lately so its been really nice. Last night I came home and she was cooking dinner and had also made us cake. We had dinner a bottle of wine and passed out at around 9. We were both beat and had to work long days and work early this morning.